There’s a quiet drizzle settling over Cape Town as I write this, mist over the Muizenberg mountains, rain clinging to the windows, a log crackling in the fireplace, and that mellow hush that only rain can bring. I’m sure the Cape Doctor will howl through later and change all that!
Days like this remind me how quickly mood can colour our choices. When it’s bright and breezy, or calm and cozy… everything feels possible. In windy, stormy, chaotic conditions, caution creeps in.
You and your clients experience the same emotional swings, sometimes within a single conversation. While spreadsheets, ratios and projections remain essential in the financial planner’s toolkit, they rarely address the subtle, moment-by-moment emotions that drive real-world decisions. This is where emotional intelligence (EQ) steps in. It allows planners to translate data into insight, insight into empathy, and empathy into action.
It shapes your communication as relevant and relatable.
The rise of emotional literacy in financial planning
Neuroscience tells us that the brain processes financial loss in the same region that registers physical pain. Retirement, divorce, illness, relocation, these life events aren’t just line items; they come with grief, fear, excitement or guilt. Add to that the constant hum of economic news and finfluencer hype, and it’s no wonder many clients arrive in your offices emotionally exhausted and paralysed with information overload.
A planner who demonstrates emotional intelligence remains relatable and valuable because they can calm the noise, hold space for uncertainty, and guide clients forward with clarity. In times of chaos, it’s less about forecasting the next quarter and more about helping people feel safe enough to stick to their plan. And not just once a year… but as often as possible (once a month is a good frequency to check in with a newsletter, several times a week for LinkedIn posting).
Five pillars of EQ in practice
These five components of EQ aren’t new, but when applied to financial planning, they take on practical resonance:
- Self-awareness: Checking in with your own emotional state before a meeting, so that stress doesn’t inadvertently shape your tone or suggestions.
- Self-regulation: Allowing clients to speak freely, even if emotions run high, without rushing to offer fixes (try waiting three seconds before responding).
- Empathy: Noticing a pause or tremble in the voice when discussing a family trust. Picking up on joy when a grandchild’s education fund is mentioned.
- Motivation: Keeping clients focused on the long-term plan even when short-term turbulence tests their patience.
- Social skill: Communicating complex ideas with simplicity and clarity, so that clients feel empowered, not overwhelmed.
Practical techniques that make a difference
You don’t necessarily need therapy training or a coaching certificate to bring EQ into everyday practice. Here are three quick ways to begin:
- Weather check-in: Begin a review meeting by asking, “If your financial life were the weather today, what would it be?” A stormy response signals caution. A calm one signals readiness.
- The regret lens: When clients hesitate, ask: “Imagine it’s five years from now and you didn’t act. What might you regret?” Research shows this future-based framing can be more persuasive than focusing on gains.
- Two-chair thinking: On Zoom, invite a client to articulate both “The Worried Voice” and “The Wise Voice.” This helps externalise fear and encourages balanced decision-making.
These ideas don’t only have to come through in meetings; you can blog about them and include them in your monthly newsletter to help clients remain connected to the emotional side of what’s influencing their financial habits.
From charts to conversations
The best communication doesn’t simply report outcomes; it tells the story behind the numbers.
Slatter Communications
Make reports client-centric. Use headers that map to life goals: “Protect the family home,” “Create a gap year fund,” “Support aging parents.” Link progress to purpose.
And don’t forget to celebrate the micro-wins. When a client meets a goal or sticks to a habit, acknowledge it with a note or message. It reinforces identity: “I’m someone who follows through.”
The real return on empathy
Planners who lead with EQ often see measurable results:
- Morningstar’s behavioural-coaching studies show that emotionally supported clients stay invested longer, potentially gaining 150bps per year.
- Kitces–XYPN surveys indicate higher empathy scores correlate with 10% greater client retention during major life transitions.
- And perhaps most importantly, referrals rise when clients feel heard. People don’t just recommend their planner… they tell stories about how their planner made them feel.
Days like today remind me that we are all, ultimately, guided by more than numbers. The weather shifts. Moods shift. Circumstances shift. But the client who feels seen, safe, and understood is far more likely to stick to a plan, and stick with their planner!
As the rain patters on the roof and the fire keeps its slow rhythm, I think of the planners who do more than manage money. They manage meaning. And they do it with care, presence and emotional fluency.
Because in the end, the real value of financial planning isn’t just the outcome. It’s the peace clients feel on the journey. That’s what makes you irreplaceable.
Show up. Stay in touch. Build something worth staying for.
