Over the years, financial planning has evolved. When life planning was first introduced into the financial planning process, it was met with resistance. Today, a client-centric, values-based approach is widely accepted, with many planners incorporating life planning, coaching and behavioural insight into their work.
As the profession matures, new layers of complexity are emerging, and our work has become more nuanced, and context driven. One of the most noticeable shifts I see is the growing experiential gap between planners and the clients they serve. We are advising across generations, cultures and life stages that may look very different from our own. In South Africa, those differences are amplified by economic history, social change and diverse family structures.
Planners are guiding clients through transitions such as divorce, grief, career reinvention, empty nest and late-life entrepreneurship, while also navigating evolving views on parenting, inheritance, responsibility and work. These realities guide how clients interpret money, risk and security.
Worldview awareness has become an essential professional skill. It means understanding the lens through which a client interprets their life, family and financial decisions.
We do not need to have lived the same story to guide them. We do need to recognise the weight of their context and respond with empathy and respect.
How our lived reality shapes the conversation
In my work with planners across ages and life stages, I have become aware of how often our own lived reality influences conversations in ways we do not recognise.
Earlier this year, a younger planner told me how difficult it was to sit with a client in her mid-50s who had recently lost her husband. He understood the numbers. He could restructure the portfolio and adjust the estate plan. What he struggled with was less tangible. He had never considered what it feels like to rebuild identity and financial security at that stage of life.
In another conversation, a planner expressed frustration that a client continued supporting adult children well into their 30s, even at some cost to her own long-term security. “At that age,” she said, “I was already fully independent.” The statement revealed more about her own upbringing than the client’s circumstances.
These moments are completely human. Lived experience and empathy sit at the heart of our profession. Yet when our own experience becomes the reference point for what feels responsible or reasonable, it can influence the advice we give and affect the relationship with the client.
Psychologist Jean Twenge reminds us that each generation is shaped by the social and economic environment in which it comes of age. Younger generations are reaching traditional milestones later. Career paths are less linear and earning often peaks much later.
Understanding these patterns provides important context. Clients are responding to their reality, and we are responding to ours.
Research in psychology describes confirmation bias as our tendency to interpret information in ways that reinforce existing beliefs. In planning conversations, this may mean unconsciously favouring strategies aligned with our own upbringing or expectations. Unless we recognise the lens through which we interpret decisions, we risk filtering choices through what feels reasonable to us.
When transitions test assumptions
Transitions are often where our assumptions surface most clearly.
Widowhood, divorce and grief alter financial structures, but also reshape identity, confidence and decision-making. An empty nest can prompt questions about purpose and future work. Late-life entrepreneurship may feel energising to one client and deeply unsettling to another.
A planner raised in a home where financial independence was expected early may struggle to understand prolonged parental support. A client supporting adult children may be acting from cultural expectations or family history.
After a traumatic divorce, it may feel helpful to encourage social activity or new routines. The intention is supportive. But suggesting that a client should “join a club” assumes that healing follows a predictable pattern. When advice feels misaligned with a client’s emotional reality, it can create distance when trust is needed most.
The same applies in estate planning. Suggesting that everything be left to a spouse may seem straightforward. Yet for a client who fears remarriage, blended family complexity or children being financially excluded, that structure may feel deeply misaligned with their values.
Assumptions rarely feel like assumptions. They feel like common sense. But when advice is formed by common sense that belongs to us rather than to the client, it can come across as judgement. If a client does not feel heard, they are unlikely to engage with strategy.
Lessons learned in practice
I have found that certain disciplines make these conversations more constructive. These skills can be developed. They strengthen relationships and deepen trust in emotionally complex situations, while also protecting us from fatigue when working with grief, conflict or transition.
Guard against assumptions. Well-intentioned advice can create distance when it is influenced by our own expectations. Instead of responding to what feels reasonable to us, pause and become curious. Seek to understand the worldview behind the decision before offering guidance.
Listen before advising. It is tempting to move quickly to solutions, especially when a client appears stuck or overwhelmed, but advice offered too soon can feel dismissive. When clients are given space to articulate their experience, the real concern often becomes clearer.
I once sat with a client living with long-term depression. He was exhausted and disengaged. There was no immediate financial strategy to resolve what he was feeling. We began by acknowledging where he was and allowing the emotion to exist. Only later did we explore practical tools and referrals.
Separate emotion from money, but do not ignore it. Strong emotions carry information. In moments of grief, divorce or conflict, clients may not be ready for structure or analysis. Creating space for emotion means allowing it to sit, without rushing to solve it or insert your own story. When acknowledged, conversations become more productive and strategy can follow.
Remain neutral. Clients will make decisions that do not align with our own upbringing, worldview or preferences. Divorced couples who continue living together, adult children who remain financially dependent and clients who prioritise lifestyle over accelerated saving. Our role is not to correct their values, but to help them understand the financial consequences of their choices.
Recognise your own bias. Self-awareness is ongoing work. Even experienced planners carry assumptions shaped by their own journey. Pausing to ask, “Am I reacting or truly listening?” can shift the tone of a conversation.
Building long-term relationships
We will not always share our clients’ worldview. We will not have lived through every transition they face. And we will not always agree with the choices they make. Our responsibility is to guide them financially through their life stages with neutrality and respect. That means listening with curiosity and self-awareness, recognising our bias and allowing emotion to exist before moving to strategy.
When clients feel heard and respected, trust deepens and strategy becomes more meaningful. In a profession built on long-term relationships, worldview awareness ensures the financial plan reflects the client’s life, not ours.
